Natural Family Planning
vs.
Fertility Awareness Method

While they are closely related - there is a difference.

NFP was developed first - and then FAM became an offshoot.

What's the Difference?

Both NFP and FAM use your body's natural signs of ovulation to determine when you are fertile.

The difference comes during the fertile time.

When you are looking to avoid pregnancy - natural family planning promotes abstinence during the fertile time. Fertility awareness method promotes barrier methods of contraception during the fertile time.

NFP: The Importance of Marriage

NFP teaches that sex is for marriage alone. Sex outside of marriage is a cheap imitation - it can't live up to the beauty that comes from married sex.

Sex is amazingly powerful. It is meant to build a stronger bond between a husband and wife who have openly and completely pledged themselves to each other for life.

One of my favorite quotes about sex is from Nona Aguilar, the author of "The New No-Pill No-Risk Birth Control"...

"Properly used, sex is about emotional and psychological union. In our culture, artificial birth control – which feminists have strongly advocated – has made sex a recreational activity.

"Sex certainly can be recreational, but its potential is to be transcendent. Sex is the live-bearing force of humankind.

"When lovemaking is recreational, it’s a little like being color-blind during sunset over the Grand Canyon. Union becomes harder to experience, and that’s a loss."

Natural family planning respects and affirms the beauty of marriage.

When you read books on natural family planning, or take NFP courses - you will always hear about the importance of marriage.

FAM Promotes Contraception

While you might read a FAM book that talks about married couples, you will also hear them talk about unmarried sex, abortion, and contraception.

People who promote FAM don't see anything wrong with contraception or unmarried sex.

Is FAM Effective?

While studies have shown that natural family planning can be used at 99% effectiveness rates, there are no significant studies on the effectiveness of FAM.

Effectiveness rates of the fertility awareness method are presumed to be similar to those of natural family planning - but I don't think that's realistic.

FAM suggests using barrier methods, such as condoms, cervical caps, etc. during the fertile time.

We know that condoms, on average, are only 85% effective. So - someone using FAM is using a barrier method - one of the least effective - during their most fertile time!

Some FAM promoters suggest that people practicing FAM will be 'more careful' than other contracepting couples - so their use of barrier methods will be better than normal.

Moment of Truth

What is the purpose of sex?

Is sex to be honored as a renewal of wedding vows between a husband and wife who have pledged - before their family, friends, and God - to love and cherish each other in marriage until their last breath?

Or is sex to be treated as a bodily function that can occur between two people trying to pretend that they are committed to each other when they are really not?

Someone Who Can't Wait...

If they're telling you that their sexual urges are so strong that they can not control themselves - they are more interested in using you than loving you.

... they are more interested in using you than loving you...

You are merely the most convenient way for them to relieve themselves of their sexual urges.

How can you really trust someone like that? What if you're out of town for a week and not available when their sexual urge strikes?

A relationship like this depends on you being available for their sexual relief. If you're not available - you will be replaced with someone who is.

This is not love. It is use. Using someone is the opposite of loving them.

Embrace the Difference

My husband is the man of my dreams! I am still amazed at how much I respect and admire him every day.

He treats me like a princess. He gets up every day to go to work to provide me with a nice home and a comfortable life. He loves me even when I feel unlovable. He comforts me when I'm sad. He protects me. And he still courts me with little love notes and phone calls during the day just to say he loves me.

He is everything I ever dreamed of and more in a spouse. It is downright difficult sometimes to postpone making love to my husband.

How to we do it? The desire to be faithful to our wedding vows. Contraception is not even an option for us.

We learned natural family planning while we were engaged - and we began to use it on our wedding night.

Having experienced the joy and beauty of married sex - we couldn't imagine using contraception. We have had the real thing - why would we settle for an imitation - a fake?

Real married sex is about total giving of self. Real married sex says, "Take me, I am yours - completely."

Contraception says, "I'm so turned on that I can't control myself. But I don't want to have a baby with you - because I don't love you enough to spend my life with you. I just want to use you for my sexual relief right now."

Is it hard to abstain? Yes it is. It is also hard to be married. Marriage is not about taking - it is about giving. It is not always easy - but it is always worth it.

Decide today - what is more important to you? Being faithful to your wedding vows - or being able to get 'relief' from your sexual urges?

Catholic Church & Sex

The Church wants people to experience the height of sexual pleasure. Sex is meant to be a preview of heaven.

Is this news to you?

Even if you aren't Catholic - stay with me on this one - click on the link below to learn more about the Catholic Church's teachings on natural family planning and sex...